At this point of the off-season it is time to break into serious analytical analysis of the New York Knicks. Of course I’m talking about ranking the best (and worst) jerseys to own and wear for the 2013-2014 team.
1. Carmelo Anthony - Let’s not over think things too much here. Carmelo is the team’s best player, coming off arguably his best season and chicks dig scorers, no? A contingent of Knicks fans (predominantly avid Harvey Araton readers) continue to irrationally hate Anthony but he’s taking our top spot.
2. Iman Shumpert – #SHUMP! The cool kid in the locker room of geezers and people everybody loves to complain about. He has a fun name to yell out irrationally loud when he makes a big play, a wacky 90s haircut (that is now changing colors!) and actually has somewhat of a two-way game. Yes, he can play defense AND offense. There is the most consistent opinion about Shumpert of the players in the Knicks locker room and it is POSITIVE. Buy away.
3. JR Smith - Yes, I know he was awful in the playoffs. Yes, I know he has an injured knee now. But he is JR ‘Freakin Smith. You are always going to get a laugh or conversation started with this jersey and hey let’s not act like the guy wasn’t the 6th Man of the Year. He can score. He can Tweet endless cringeworthy things. He can do wacky guitar celebrations. Besides you can always customize the jersey to say “PIPE” on the back.
4. Pablo Prigioni - Was VERY close to making him #3. Who doesn’t love Prigs? Flat-footed jumpers, sneaky steals and almost nobody has his jersey. You want to stand out? Wear a Prigioni jersey around New York City. Knicks fans will nod at you in approval. Nets fans will look at you confused because they don’t follow basketball closely enough to know who he is and are still wearing the Gerald Wallace Brooklyn jersey they bought at the one pre-season game they went to last year.
5. Metta World Peace - There is no way he isn’t an immediate favorite at The Garden and we are set for a full year of “the prodigal son returns home!” stories, an inevitable brawl with Kevin Garnett and the hysterical reality of Peace and JR Smith sharing a locker room. Yes, it is weird to walk around with a jersey that says “World Peace” on the back but I bet we see a ton of them around NYC sooner rather than later.
6. Tyson Chandler - I know he was hurt but it is hard to shake the image of Roy Hibbert just DOMINATING Chandler in the playoffs out of your head, isn’t it? Chandler normally plays terrific defense, dunks a ton and yells very loudly…he also has an impressively scraggily beard.
7. Tim Hardaway Jr - Ahead of the curve but also RISKY. Who knows if THJ is going to be the next Iman Shumpert or the next Mardy Collins? 1st round pick jerseys are generally popular unless you are Frederic Weis or Renaldo Balkman. Hardaway Jr should be a rotation guy from the beginning of the season, so this COULD be a savvy purchase.
8. Ray Felton - Eh. You are probably opening yourself to a ton of eating jokes with this jersey. Felton probably gets too much crap from Knicks fans, particularly since he is coming off a solid season. Ffor some reason I see this jersey only worn by former high school point guards who have since put on 15-20 pounds but still manage to have a scrappy pick-up game.
9. Amare Stoudemire - SO TWO YEARS AGO. Hey, Stat embraced the challenge of coming to New York but at this point his ceiling is a 20 minute per game role player, which is sad and frustrating considering his contract is the GDP of a small nation.
10. Andrea Bargnani - #77? Yeesh.